im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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