come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
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