Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
