i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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