You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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