I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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