then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
