do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I could make wine with my vomit
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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