Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize