What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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