dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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