sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize