my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
