we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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