Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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