They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
