I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
