you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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