JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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