I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Can Purell be used as lube?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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