There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
