I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
party gras won. party gras always wins.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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