well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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