Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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