talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
