Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
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