Nicole vs. Life
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
