Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I stole a fireplace last night.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
