When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm way too hungover for life right now
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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