My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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