Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
