she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
