Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
