One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
