I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
