shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
