we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
its liver damage thursday
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
