I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
You ate ashes out of my bong
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
