Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
