bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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