come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
