I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
