# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
