She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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