Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
