so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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