What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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