But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
