I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
