y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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