the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Success! We fucked roommates!
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
