I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
