Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize