I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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