Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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