Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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