You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
