Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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