i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Randomize
