Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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