Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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